When The Sky Comes Crashing Down
by x-the-rising-x
Summary: post episode 4x07. Graduation is in 3 months. Now he's with her. But Brooke doesn't want to let go. And neither does he. BL. just read
1. Meant To Live

**When the Sky Comes Crashing Down**

**Summary: **Graduation is in three months, and already people are deciding whether to lock up their hearts and throw away the key, or open their hearts up and let themselves fall hard and fast. This fic will be BL JP and NH by the end most likely. Takes place after eppy 4x07.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own One Tree Hill or the actors (sadly).

* * *

**Meant To Live**

_Fumbling his confidence and wondering why the world has passed him by  
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments and failed attempt to fly  
We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?_

Peyton smiled as she read the called ID from her phone where it sat vibrating on her desk. Putting down her sketchpad and flopping down on her bed she answered the phone.

"Hey Luke. Just can't stay away can you?"

A short laugh came over the line. "Keep dreaming. I was just making sure you were ok," he said in a more serious tone. "I didn't see you after the game."

Peyton's smile faded and she crossed to her desk again where she picked up the sketchpad and eyed her most current drawing. It was of a girl in a cemetery, crying over a faceless grave. "Yeah. I'm fine. I just wasn't really ready to handle that many people."

"Well do you want me to come over?"

Peyton paused before responding. Derek had driven off early that evening, only after making sure she was ok. "No, it's fine. I'll be fine."

"Ok, well call me if you need anything, ok?"

"Yeah sure, thanks," she responded before clicking off. Turning up the volume on her stereo, she plopped down on her bed with her newest drawing. Switchfoot blasted through the speakers as she picked up the pencil and began to draw again.

* * *

_We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
Somewhere we live inside_

In her first draft, it was Ellie's name on the grave. The next was her mom. Then Keith, then Brooke, then Jake, then Lucas. Her wastebasket was full with crumpled pieces of paper as she tried to sketch out what in her life she truly missed the most. And she couldn't. So she left the grave faceless. And began instead on the girl's tears.

The red dress was lying in her lap as Brooke furiously ripped out the seams that bound the edges of the material together. As she ripped she cried, until the dress was no more than a rag in her lap. _'A rag just like my life,' _she thought bitterly as she wiped away a tear and stood up from the bed. Making her way across the messy room, which was strewn with clothes, she hadn't picked up and sketches for designs that had found there way to the foot of Rachel's bed. She reached the bathroom where she found a cool washcloth and dabbed her blotchy eyes and red cheeks with water.

She was beng stupid, really. She knew it herself. She went out with him for what? A month? She hadn't even really liked him. Well, that wasn't true. Of course she liked him. She liked holding his hand, she liked kissing him, she liked the sex. But truthfully, maybe that's all this had really been about. The sex. Looked like that was all it was about for him.

"Brooke!" came an exclamation from the bedroom. Brooke dried her face and returned to the room where she found Rachel fingering the remnants of the dress. "What did you do to this?"

"_She _was wearing it," said Brooke in a mumble, as she lay down on the bed and buried her face into the pillow.

"This is one of your best designs."

"I don't care," responded Brooke with a defeated sigh.

"You _do _care. What you shouldn't care about is that jackass," said Rachel, throwing the dress at Brooke's head.

"What, I'm not allowed to wallow?" asked Brooke with a grumble as she sat up and threw the dress to the end of the bed.

"Not over a guy like that."

Brooke sighed. "It just keeps happening."

"Maybe you don't satisfy them enough," said Rachel with a smile.

"That's funny, really hilarious."

"Ok, I'm sorry. Look, Brooke. Nick and Lucas are two completely different guys. Nick is one sleazebag who obviously just sleeps around. Lucas is a good guy who just made a mistake."

"Mistakes happen Rachel. People forgive. But that doesn't mean the same mistake should happen again."

Rachel rolled her eyes and went to her dresser as Brooke belted out on her normal tirade.

"I mean, yeah, I forgave them for what happened last year. But it happened _again._ And everyone keeps telling me 'it was a mistake, forgive them.' But I already forgave them once."

"Well, Brooke, you got what you wanted," said Rachel as she brushed out her hair. "You're not with Lucas anymore. So obviously you can't get hurt anymore." Those were her last words before she left the room, and left Brooke to sit and wonder why, if she was protecting herself, did she feel so hurt anyway?

* * *

_Dreaming about Providence  
And whether mice and men have second tries_

The Rivercourt was lit up even against the dark light when he arrived there. Letting the basketball bounce across the cold pavement, he made his way towards the basket, where, with his eyes closed, let the ball swoop through the net and bounce back to his feet.

"What, do you live here or something?" Lucas looked up to see Nathan approaching the court. "Do you ever leave?"

Lucas smiled slightly and picked up the ball from the concrete, turning it around in his hands. "Come to ask for forgiveness?"

"Not really," said Nathan taking the ball from Lucas and tossing it into the net. "Just came here to clear my head."

"You know, for awhile there you actually had me going that you were a good guy."

"So your judging just by tonight that I'm not?"

"Come on, Nathan! That guy is dangerous, you know that!"

"I don't need your lectures Luke."

"Well then explain to me how stupid you were that you had to throw the game."

"I didn't throw the game." Nathan's voice was raised. "It was just a little point-shaving. We still won."

"That's not the point. The point is that you would put yourself above your teammates and the game we all love."

"Oh, I see. So this is all about you and how you had to embarrass yourself by missing those free-throws."

"I didn't say that."

"You might as well have. Look, some of us have bigger problems than looking good in front of an audience. I have a wife and a baby on the way, and we are thousands of dollars in debt. Now unless you have a better option of how I could have helped out my family, no, I'm not going to apologize." Nathan tossed the ball hard to Lucas and gave him one last look of disgust before turning his back to his brother and walking away from the lit up Rivercourt.

Lucas watched him until the darkness swallowed him up, and then it was just him and the court alone again.

* * *

_Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open  
Maybe we're bent and broken _

It was some random bar again. No, not a random bar. The bar. She passed the table where they had played pool. Passed the stools they had sat on joking around. Passed the hallway where they had first kissed. She needed to get out. Get out of this place that reminded her all too much of him.

_"You're not with Lucas anymore." _The words still stung into her asthey had earlier that night, before Rachel had dragged her from the bed and told her that she needed something to get her mind off the guys in her life.

With more guys. That's where Rachel was now. In some back room fooling around with some random guy that she probably would never bother to ask the name of. And that's where Brooke would be, had she been the old Brooke. But she wasn't the old Brooke. She was the Brooke who had been through more than enough heartbreak. And with the exception of Nick, sex wasn't going to do it this time.

All she really wanted to do was get out of the club and go home and curl up in bed.

_Home._ Like she really had a home. Living with another high-school senior girl who took her out and got her drunk ever night was not the most comforting living situation Brooke could be in. But then again, living with her parents never had been either. Drunken fights which normally ended in more than one expensive sculpture being shattered. They also normally ended in Brooke running off to the nearest club as the fight escalated in her house, and letting herself drown her sorrows in alcohol and guys. Sex.

When she had gone on her responsible escalade at the end of junior year and had begun to turn her life around with a steady boyfriend and a new position as Senior Class President, there were no more clubs and drunken nights for her. During those fights she would run of to Felix's and he would comfort her. With sex.

The only home she could really think of was living with Haley. And the nights where Lucas would come over with a pizza and the three of them would sit huddled on the couch, Brooke lying in Lucas' arms, feeling warm and safe. And those were the only times that she felt she didn't need to prove herself to a guy by sex.

_"You're not with Lucas anymore." _Right. She wasn't with Lucas anymore.

Maybe it was time for a drink.

_We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?_

* * *

So you guys, that was the first chapter. Tell me what you think!

Song entitled _Meant to Live _by Switchfoot


	2. City Of Devils

**When The Sky Comes Crashing Down**

Thank you everyone for your great reviews!

**BrucasForeva, brucas.is.loveee, Natz95, Brucas03, lucasluvforever, OTH.daddy'sgurl.06, AcexReporter, prettygirl33, goober396: **I'm glad you all like the story! Thanks for the support!

**Brucasforever, Cherie Dennis: **I'm glad you guys like the story, and the song! I know, this song is one of my favorites. Each chapter is going to be titled after a song with the lyrics within.

**brucaslovex3: **Heyyyyy Jacko. I'm glad you're loving this new story. I know, I know, I'll update Finding Our Way Back To Us soon, just hold on tight. (I'm also glad I got you as obsessed as me )

**l-a-c-18: **Thanks for the long review! I know what you mean about Brooke. She's always getting hurt and she is truly loyal to her friends.

So, without further ado, I present to you Chapter 2 of When The Sky Comes Crashing Down.

* * *

**City of Devils**

_Man once sang to me  
Look at you saving the world on your own  
And I wonder how things gonna be  
As the time here it passes so slow_

There wasn't much in the fridge as Haley searched through for something to eat for breakfast. With a sigh, she pulled out a container of yogurt, and got a spoon from the kitchen drawer, before sitting down at the counter.

It was still a mystery to Haley that Dan had been so generous in offering Nathan the money. She had assumed it was a long shot. And yet somehow they had power and running water. So instead of meddling in just _how _Nathan coaxed the money out of his father, Haley was just thankful that they weren't in debt anymore.

The phone rang, disturbing Haley from her thoughts. She reached across the counter to answer it and silence the loud obnoxious ring.

"Hello?"

A small sniffle came through the receiver. "Tutorwife?"

"Brooke? Is that you? What's wrong?"

"Um, nothing really. Listen, I'm kind-of stranded with no car. Do you think you could come get me?"

Haley checked her watch. It was 7:30. "I actually have a final 1st period. Why, where are you?"

"The UNC dorms."

"What? Why the hell are you at UNC?"

There was a silence on the other end, and Haley understood. Of course. She wouldn't expect any less of Brooke. "Well, I don't know what to do Brooke, I can't miss this test."

"What's wrong?" Nathan emerged from the bedroom.

"Brooke needs to get picked up from the UNC dorms, but I've got to go to 1st period."

"I'll go," said Nathan, picking up the car keys from the counter.

"Are you sure? UNC's like an hour away."

"Yeah, I don't have 1st. And I can miss 2nd period. Mr. Badgely's been out for a week."

Haley returned to the receiver. "Ok Brooke, Nathan's gonna' come get you. Which dorm are you at?"

* * *

_In a city of devils we live  
A city of devils we live_

The grave still had no face. Peyton had haphazardly tossed her sketchpad to the edge of her desk earlier that morning and bitterly gone to change for school, angry that she couldn't finish the drawing.

She was in the mood to do something drastic. Cut her hair? No, she already did that. Paint her room white? No, she did that too. God, she sounded like Brooke playing I Never. Cause truthfully, Peyton was the queen of change. Changing everything on the outside to mask perfectly at how bad she was at adapting to change on the inside. Look how many people she had pushed away. Ellie, Lucas, Derek. The real Derek, that is. Every time her life started to get a little bit different, maybe a little more exciting and a little scary, she would curl up in her little shell and be too afraid to come out.

She smoothed the material of her cheerleading uniform and took a last look at herself in the mirror. God, she hated game days. She used to secretly love them – all the excitement and exhilaration in the air. But now she dreaded them. Game days meant Brookes hurt face and snide comments, and Lucas nervous looks as his gaze passed between the two former best friends.

"Well, dressing like that, it's no wonder you had a stalker."

Peyton turned to see Lucas come in. "Very funny. You better watch it," she said, throwing her sketchbook at him.

He caught it in the air and took a brief glance at it before tossing it on the bed. "Pretty intense. Trying best how to write 'Peyton Sawyer – Murdered by her best friend' on it?"

"You're just full of jokes today, aren't you?"

Lucas laughed. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me just grab my bag." She moved to the chair.

"Hey Peyton?"

"Yeah?" she said, pulling her bag over her shoulder.

"Just hang in there. You know she'll forgive you. She always does."

Peyton let a small, fake smile edge across her face. "Thanks Luke." But deep down inside, she knew that it was going to take a little more than it did last time for Brooke to forgive her. And that hope that she had when the fight first broke out was now sinking farther and farther away, and Peyton wasn't sure she'd be able to get it back.

_Find somebody to learn  
Boy you gotta' love someone more than yourself  
I can feel the fire of the city lights burn  
And it's hard to find angels in hell_

* * *

_Flying along, and I  
Feel like I don't belong, and I  
Can't tell right from the wrong, and why  
Have I been here so long_

Nathan would be there any minute. Brooke pulled seams of Lucas' "Keith's Body Shop" sweater tighter around her to shield her body from the cold wind. The campus was empty this early in the morning and, sitting down on the steps leading to the parking lot, she let a few tears fall from her eyes.

The night before had been a blur. First it had been one beer, then two. Then came a few mystery drinks, followed by a few mystery guys, and then a dark dorm room. She'd woken up this morning with a guy's – whom she didn't know the name of – arm draped over her. Hurridly she had grabbed her clothes from where they were scattered around the room – remnants of a drunken night – and left him sleeping in his bed.

Her first thought was to call Peyton. Then came Lucas. But of course, seeing how she had cut the two most important people out of her life, the list came down to Nathan and Haley. Lucas would have come without a question, but there wasn't a doubt that he wouldn't be too thrilled knowing what she had done last night.

So Nathan was coming. In fact, she could see his car appear around a corner way down the street. She stood up and went to the curb to meet him, but paused when she heard a noise behind her.

"Hey, hey you!"

She knew who it was, and wasn't at all surprised to find that he didn't remember her name either. Not eager to give her phone number to a random guy so that he could call her anytime he needed another booty call, she didn't turn around, but rocked on her heels until Nathan's car pulled up.

Fumbling with the door handle , she hopped inside and muttered to Nathan "go." Nathan put his foot to the pedal and they were off, leaving behind a confused, hung-over college boy.

* * *

_Questions I can't seem to find  
To the answers I already have  
And you can't see the sky here at night  
So I guess I can't make my way back_

It wasn't that the date had been bad. Just – not amazing. As mouth pedaled his way towards Tree Hill High, quiet thoughts flew through his brain. Gigi was nice, but he didn't see her as more than a friend. But the real question was why. Why didn't he want to date her? She was gorgeous and funny and sweet, all the qualities he loved in a girl.

But when he looked at her his heart didn't flip over like it did when he looked at Rachel…or Brooke. The only two girls he had every really been in love with – the two girls who didn't love him back.

It hurt bad with Rachel. He had really thought they had stood a chance. But in the end, she just saw him as a geeky vertically challenged high school boy. She would never see him the way she saw Cooper. So in the end, it sort-f came down to the fact that he didn't care. If she wasn't going to be with him, why should he waste his time caring.

But Brooke….Brooke was a different story. You don't just get over Brooke Davis. Of course he still loved her. Luckily, their friendship was strong enough to hold. But he knew he was still in love with her. She did too. They just didn't talk about it. Which was a good system. Because he loved the friendship they had.

* * *

_Flying along, and I  
Feel like I don't belong, and I  
Can't tell right from the wrong, and why  
Have I been here so long_

Nathan stole a glance over at Brooke who was huddled in the passenger seat, face buried in the neck of her sweater. Lucas' sweater, actually.

He felt bad for her, in many ways. He was 17 and already knew where his life was going. He had a beautiful wife and a baby on the way. A full-ride to Duke and even though the future was gonna' be tough, he had a family.

Brooke, in so many ways, was lost. The only family she had consisted of her small group of friends. She had lost Lucas, and Nathan could see past her confident face into where her hidden insecurities really were.

"Are you ok?" he asked her, moving his eyes back to the road.

She snapped out of whatever daze she had been in. Brooke wasn't usually one to keep quiet at any time during the day, unless it was History class. Then she felt the need to ramble on about how all the dead presidents seriously needed a new hair stylist. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just a little hung-over," she said quietly.

"It's not gonna' help you know."

"The drinking?"

"No, the guys. They aren't going to help you get over your problems. You know, with your family, and Peyton and Lucas. Sleeping around doesn't solve anything."

Brooke, who normally would have gone into an angry tirade about how she could have sex like a guy, just sighed. "I know. Last night – was a mistake." She paused and looked over at him. "Thanks, though, Nate. Thanks for picking me up."

He smiled slightly. "Your welcome." There was a short silence before he spoke again. "You know, Brooke, we're a lot alike." He looked over at her. "I mean, we both had people we love break our hearts. It hurts, doesn't it?"

She just nodded, staring out the window.

He continued. "But I loved Haley, so I learned to trust her again. What about you and Lucas?"

Brooke didn't look at him, just put her hands into the sweater's pockets. "Sometimes love isn't enough."

He watched her for a few more seconds, watched her eyes follow the trees as they zoomed by. "Yeah, I guess," he responded, before putting his eyes back on the road.

_I don't belong  
Don't belong  
I've been here too long  
Too long_

* * *

Please review!_  
_

Song is City of Devils by Yellowcard


	3. The Middle

**When The Sky Comes Crashing Down**

**Thank you to all of yo who have been patient... my computer is f-ing up and decided not to let me upload files. Finally I figured out I had to import a plain text file and then copy and paste the document into the simple mode thingy...anyway. Here's the UD. I like it just cause it moves me forward to the next chapter...which I am SO looking forward to.**

**So anyway, I present you with chapter 3. Thank you to all you reviewers and because I don't have time to give individual responses, I'll just say I'm glad you all liked the Brathan encounter. There will be more of those to come just because I like their friendship**

* * *

  
**The Middle**

_Hey, don't write yourself off yet  
It's only in your head you feel left out  
or looked down on_

The party would be at Rachel's. Just like most of the parties that had been held for the past few weeks. Usually it would rotate – the rich kids would all have their parties in turn, but Rachel had long since adopted the official best party-thrower award. And no one was interested in stepping in to say anything about it.

Lucas didn't love parties too much. He thought they were too loud and crowded. Besides, the only ones of his friends who even enjoyed them were Brooke and Nathan. And seeing how he wasn't really speaking to either of them right now, he didn't feel the initial need to attend.

"But it'll be fun!" He didn't know why Peyton, who usually was only kept at these big extravaganzas to make sure Brooke had a ride home, was so eager to attend this one.

"And _why_ would this be fun?" he asked her, confused, stealing a french-fry from her plate.

It was Friday afternoon and Lucas and Peyton were spending off-campus lunch at Karen's café, Lucas looking on as Peyton filled in her graveyard drawing.

"I don't know – I feel like we're turning into anti-social losers who spend evenings cooped up in my room listening to music and talking about books."

"Hey, I get out," said Lucas, defensively.

"Yeah right," responded Peyton with a snort.

Lucas gave a small sigh. On any other occasion, he would most likely be nonchalant about attending this party. It wasn't like he would have to do anything. When he was with Brooke she would coax him out of his room, promising him that this one would be fun, and then spend the entire night trying to get him to come dance with her. He pretended to be mad about this often, but truthfully he loved it – loved the way her eyes would dance when she got her way, and loved the way that she only had eyes for him.

But now the idea of going to one of these parties wasn't as appealing to him. He knew he would be forced to painfully watch Brooke down whatever drink was thrust into her hand, and go upstairs with whichever guy lead her.

Of course, Peyton had been down lately, and after all, he was her friend, she deserved to be happy. "Ugh, fine! I'll go."

A smile erupted onto her face. "Good. Lets get back to school." She stood up from the stool, wiped the crumbs off her front, grabbed her sketchpad, and moved to the door.

Grabbing one more french-fry, he followed her with a smile.

* * *

_Just try your best  
try everything you can  
and don't you worry what they tell themselves  
when you're away_

"So do you wanna' go to this party tonight?" Nathan asked Haley as they approached the school.

Haley responded with a laugh, and then, seeing the expression on his face, spoke up. "Wait, you're serious? Nathan, I have a person growing inside of me. I'm not feeling great enough to even eat anything, let alone go to some drunken high school party."

"Oh," was all he could say. He felt stupid, forgetting he wasn't living in his old life anymore. Most of the time he felt thankful for what he had, but there were times when he could feel himself wishing he could be as reckless as he used to be.

"But you should go," said Haley, finishing her previous thought.

He looked over at her. "What? No. It's fine."

"No, I'm serious. You never get out anymore." She saw the skeptical look on his face. "Seriously, go. I'll be fine."

Nathan sighed. "Ok, but just for a little. And you'll call me if you need anything."

Haley smiled. "Of course. Now go to class," she said, giving him a playful push.

* * *

_It just takes some time  
little girl you're in the middle of the ride  
Everything everything will be just fine  
everything everything will be alright_

She saw him turn the corner and called after him. "Nathan!"

He turned around. "Oh, hey Brooke."

She gave him a small smile and hoisted her bag further up her shoulder. "Listen, I just wanted to say thanks for the other day."

Nathan shrugged. "It was really no big deal."

"No, it was. You really saved me over there." She paused for a minute. "And about what you said about second chances and everything – "

Nathan cut her off. "Look, Brooke. It's really none of my business about what goes on between you and Lucas. I just want you to be sure you're making the right decision."

The smile on her face quickly faded as she saw the two of them round the corner. Nathan turned and gave a quick glance to Lucas before turning his attention back to Brooke, who's eyes were glued to the floor. Peyton was looking straight ahead but Lucas had his eyes on Brooke, and looked like he wanted to say something, but then closed his mouth. Brooke didn't look up from the floor and Peyton and Lucas continued down the hallway.

Just one awkward encounter out of many more to come.

* * *

_Hey, you know they're all the same  
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in  
Live right now. Yeah, just be yourself  
It doesn't matter if it's good enough  
for someone else_

"Do I really have to go to this thing tonight?" asked Brooke with a sigh, as she poured the bag of ice into the bin.

Rachel sighed. Truthfully, she was getting pretty sick of moping Brooke. For a while she would be fun, someone great to go out with. But then her mood would go way down and she would be back to depressed Brooke. Of course, the times when they went out and got drunk, those were the times she was probably the most depressed because Brooke was the queen of drowning her trouble in alcohol and sex.

"No, you don't have to. You could sit up in your room with a bottle of Vodka and get drunk and fall asleep at 10:00, or you could suck it up and enjoy the party."

Brooke frowned. "Can I take the former?"

She was getting pretty sick of it. Sick of the parties that left her and whichever guy she had picked up of the dance floor too drunk to make it all the way to the bed. She was sick of waking up on the hard floor with a crick in her neck, and having to stand under a steaming hot shower for an hour until she finally felt clean.

She kept using the same line before each of these parties and she used it again: "Hooking up with some guy is just going to make it worse."

And Rachel responded with the same line she had used every afternoon before a party since Brooke's 18th birthday: "Tomorrow it'll make it worse. Tonight, trust me, it'll make it much better."

And Brooke cracked, again. Moving to the liquor table, she grabbed a bottle of Vodka. "I'll drink to that," she said with a smile.

_Hey, don't write yourself off yet  
It's only in your head you feel left out  
or looked down on  
Just do your best, do everything you can  
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts  
are gonna say_

* * *

Please read and Review!

Song credit : The Middle / Jimmy Eat World


	4. Move Along

**When The Sky Comes Crashing Down**

Hey you guys. So I've been sick at home all day, and though it was a perfect time for an UD, I'm not exactly sure how well written it is. It took me almost as long to find good lyrics then to write the chapter...lols. But anyway, here it is. I think the lyrics go pretty well.

Oh and by the way, one of you actually predicted what I have been planning to write. haha...you'll see. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

_Go ahead and waste your days with thinking  
When you fall everyone stands  
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking  
With the life held in your  
Hands are shaking cold  
These hands are meant to hold_

It wasn't until about nine thirty when people started arriving at the party. Of course, Tim was there extra early, but Rachel didn't bother unlocking the door for him, so he was left looking like an idiot with a keg on the front steps.

Brooke was already on her third drink when people came pouring through the front doors. Her vision was a little fuzzy but she could clearly make out Nathan as he arrived around ten, from her perch on the kitchen stool. She also spotted Bevin and Skillz stop by, arm in arm, and she had to let herself smile a bit in spite of them. She could already hear the music pounding through the speakers, and she put a hand to her forehead as she found the loud noise to give her a headache.

Rachel was nowhere to be found. Knowing her, she was probably upstairs, with her bra already halfway done. But that wasn't Brooke's style. She would scout the room, tease all the guys, and wait to go upstairs until she was too drunk to barely even make out the hand of the guy she was leading.

Too many guys to count had already made a pass at her that evening, but she had brushed them all off, still continuing to down her drinks. She wondered to herself if one could become an alcoholic at such a young age. She wouldn't be surprised if she was in rehab by 20, or dead by 21 from a DWI accident. It was ironic, really. Just last year she had made a breakthrough at Tree Hill High after announcing her _DW not I _program, and yet she had already been picked up 3 times from some party or another by one of the drivers she had hired for the program.

She had gone a full 20 minutes without taking a sip of what was currently in her red cup. Then Peyton and Lucas emerged. Peyton in her punk-rock boots, jeans and concert t-shirt, and Lucas in his black-button down shirt. The one that brought out his eyes. Brooke's favorite. So with a sigh, she tipped her head back and let the liquid burn down her throat.

* * *

_Speak to me  
When all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do_

Peyton was saying something to him but he couldn't hear her. He couldn't hear the music either. Basically all of his senses had been rerouted once he spotted Brooke on that stool. It really struck him the worst tonight of how badly he was still hung up on her. She looked bored out of her mind, leaning over the counter, and still she looked gorgeous. On her feet she wore gold stiletto heels and she had on a black miniskirt with a red halter-top. Her hair had grown alarmingly fast over the past month and was hanging in soft, loose waves down to the middle of her back.

"Lucas? Hello?" Peyton snapped her fingers in front of his face and brought him out of his daze.

"Wh-what?" he asked, giving one last glance at Brooke before turning his attention back to Peyton.

"The Strokes concert? Are we going?" Obviously this is what she had been rambling on about for the past few minutes.

"Oh, the one next weekend? Yeah, sure."

Peyton smiled. "Let's go get a drink," she said, pulling him down the hallway.

* * *

_And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along_

Surprisingly, he was having a good time. He didn't think he would be – he figured he would be worried about Haley the whole time. But surprisingly, Haley wasn't at the top of his mind for once. He was having fun relaxing and cooling off, slowly slipping back into that old carefree feeling he used to get at big parties.

He told himself he wasn't going to drink, but that didn't last long. All Skillz had to do was shout "Nathan, dawg! Jello shots!" and it was all over for his night of staying sober. Besides, when would he have the chance to do jello shots again?

It was around the 5th shot that the nausea caught on and a couple drinks later when he became a little less functional, and his vision a little blurrier. He found himself sitting in a chair by the pool being chatted up by some junior girl.

A ringing interrupted her jabbering. Nathan checked the caller I.D. Haley.

"Booty call?" Asked the girl with a smirk.

"My wife, actually," he responded. The girl backed off after that, and Nathan stood up to head inside, shutting his phone down to vibrate.

* * *

_So a day when you've lost yourself completely  
Could be a night when your life ends_

She wasn't sending off this guy. After all, it was Brett Claywell, captain of the soccer team. Brooke wasn't one to brush off a captain of anything. There was the time she was drunk enough to hit on the captain of the girls volleyball team, and she even slept with the captain of the boys fencing team. And Brett Claywell wasn't a modest choice for her. At 6'3" with shaggy dirty-blonde hair and green eyes, he was nearly irresistible.

"So Brooke, care to dance?" he asked with the smirk she knew all to well from looks across the classroom or soccer field.

She returned the smile. "Here's the thing, Brett. I am really _not _in the mood to have sex tonight." She saw his smile falter a bit and his eyes flicker for a fraction of a second. "So if that's all you're looking for from me, you're wasting your time."

Brett let out a little bit of a light laugh. "What, you think that's all I do? Sleep around? If I recall, all I asked you to do was dance with me." He held out his hand.

And, surprising herself, Brooke let herself take it.

* * *

"Nathan, what are you doing?" Peyton and Lucas emerged in the kitchen to find Nathan slumped up against the fridge, drinking whiskey straight from the bottle.

"Peyton! And if it isn't my brother, Lucas." Nathan poked Lucas in the chest and let out a burp. "How _is _my brother doing on this fine, fine day? Here to make some more accusations?"

"How much have you had to drink Nathan?" asked Peyton in disgust, yanking the bottle from his hands and pouring the remainder of it down the drain.

"What's it to you?" he asked defensively. Then he let out a giggle and pulled his vibrating phone out of his pocket. "That tickles," he said, throwing it onto the counter.

"Is that Haley?" Lucas had an edge in his voice.

"None of your business," responded Nathan

"Well considering it's his sister-in-law and your _wife, _who you love very much, I'd say it is his business," said Peyton, jumping in.

"You mean like how _you _love Lucas?" Nathan asked with a laugh.

The room got very quiet. "What?" asked Lucas, as if he hadn't heard his brother correctly.

"You heard me. Yeah, I heard Brooke and Haley about it the other day. No wonder Brooke broke up with you," Nathan slurred.

Lucas turned to look at Peyton, but she was already gone, pushing her way through the crowd.

* * *

_  
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving  
All the pain held in your  
Hands are shaking cold  
Your hands are mine to hold_

They were dancing very closely. Brett's hand was snaking down her back and Brooke could feel his hot breath on her neck. She tried to block out her senses, get past the nausea and claustrophobia she was feeling, pressed up against him as they moved to the music.

It was two songs later before she managed to push away and mumble that she needed a drink. Brett seemed to understand, and offered for her to sit down while he got her one. She was slightly disoriented so she didn't object, even though, after the date-rape experience with Peyton junior-year she had vowed never to let a guy make her a drink out of her line of vision.

He returned a few minutes later, pushing his way through the crowd with a smile on his face, green eyes dancing. He sat down next to her, and handed her the drink. Gratefully she downed it in just one sip. She saw his eyes flicker again.

* * *

Rachel entered the kitchen to find Nathan slumped in a chair. 

"Didn't think parties were Nathan Scott's style anymore," she said with a smirk, as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet. "But then again, I guess they aren't, seeing as you're alone in the kitchen, rather than outside socializing.

"They don't deserve the presence of Nathan Scott," he slurred.

"Oh god, you're drunk," she said with a sigh. "I thought Haley would have put some self-restraint into you."

"Haley. I miss Haley," he said with a sad smile.

Rachel peered at his cell phone, which was buzzing on the table. "Wow, five missed calls, three voicemails, all from Haley James Scott. Looks like you miss her too."

"I'm a terrible husband. I'm going to be a terrible father, he said, banging his head on the table.

Rachel rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Ok, listen," she said, moving to the coffee maker and flipping the switch. "I'm never this nice so consider yourself lucky. I'm going to call _DW not I _and have them come pick you up, and in the meantime, make you a cup of coffee so you can at least sober up a little bit for your pregnant wife."

"I don't need your help," responded Nathan with a grumble.

"Trust me," she said from the other side of the kitchen. "You need my help."

* * *

_Speak to me  
when all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do_

Only after ten minutes did she realize that the drink had just made things worse. Her motor functions were slowly dwindling and her vision was even blurrier than it had been earlier that evening. She felt Brett's presence once again by her side. His hand was draped across her shoulder and he spoke up in a soft voice. "How you feeling?"

She didn't respond, just shrugged his hand away.

"How about I take you upstairs?"

"I told you Brett," she said, pushing his hand off her thigh. "I'm not sleeping with you."

"I never asked you too. I was just going to let you rest," he said with a whisper in her ear.

She felt herself being pulled out of her chair, and then across the room. Once in the hallway, he began to be a little more forceful as he pushed her to the stairs. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rachel pass between rooms and give Brooke a wink. Brooke tried to open her mouth and call to Rachel that she needed help, but she was much too out of it to let the words out.

* * *

_And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along_

He found her up in one of the many bedrooms, drinking out of a flask.

"Lucky flask?" he asked with a nervous laugh.

Peyton turned to him and dropped the flask. "Lucas, um, hi."

"Hi."

There was a short and awkward pause.

"So, is it true?"

Her automatic setting would be to say no, and to deny the whole thing. But truthfully, she was sick of holding everything in. Lucas and Brooke were over. The only thing keeping Peyton from saying anything was the ultimate fear if being shut down. Besides the initial betrayal of the, though currently over, long friendship with Brooke.

"It's true." She let the words slide out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Lucas sat down on the bed. Too much was rushing through his mind at that moment to string together any comprehendible sentence.

"And you don't have to say anything," she said, sitting down next to him and facing him. "In fact, it's probably easier if you just let me talk." She took a deep breath. "Look, Luke. I know you still love Brooke. It's obvious that you do and initially I didn't tell you how I felt because of her. I don't know why this is happening. My best bet is because you're the guy who's always saving me. You saved me from that college guy, junior year. You saved me during the school shooting. And you saved me from Derrick, or whatever his name is. I can't explain it. All I know is that I'm in love with you. And what I've been wondering over the past few months, is where _us _really went. I mean, we were so hung up on each other junior year. And somehow that just disappeared. You and Brooke gave it a 2nd chance. Maybe we should too."

It was one of the longest silences either had ever experienced. Then he spoke up in a raspy voice. "I don't know what happened to us either."

Peyton gave a small smile, and did the 2nd risky thing that night. She leaned in and kissed him. And he kissed her back.

It was about three seconds before Lucas began screaming at himself inside his head. What was he doing? Flashes of him and Peyton entered his mind. And then, amidst the images, there came one of him and Brooke, and he abruptly pulled away.

Peyton opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a muffled sound from the next room over. Automatically, Lucas moved to the door and listened.

The sound came again. Only this time, they could both hear it clearly. "Seriously Brett, stop it." It was a soft and tired cry emitted by a very familiar voice.

Lucas pushed open the adjacent rooms door. He was met by the sight of a half-dressed, very out-of it Brooke, halfheartedly trying to push Brett Claywell off of her.

Anger rose in Lucas' throat. Enraged by a blind fury, he grabbed Brett by the collar and delivered a punch right to his jaw. The soccer star stumbled backwards into the dresser. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"What the hell do you think _you're _doing?" asked Lucas, punching Brett in the stomach and then once more in the face.

Peyton rushed in and was kneeling over Brooke. Her skirt was still on, but her shirt and shoes were gone, leaving Brooke in her bra. She was crying, but almost immediately passed out against Peyton's shoulder.

"Shit," said Peyton, pulling Brooke's shirt back on over her head.

"Is she out?" asked Lucas, kneeling down next to the two girls, clutching a pack of pills in his hand.

All Peyton could do was nod. Lucas scooped Brooke up into his arms, and, giving unconscious Brett one last kick, left the room. Peyton scrambled after him, and couldn't help thinking how Lucas was always the one to save girls from the date-rape drug.

_When all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you to  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through_

* * *

Please review!

Song: Move Along / The All-American Rejects_  
_


	5. When You Were Young

**When The Sky Comes Crashing Down**

Ok, you all probably hate me with a passion for the lack of UD and all my readers who have read my previous fics that I have gone on permanent hiatus probably thought that I would drop this one as well...BUT...I am back. and with an UDI loe this sogn and was always meaning to use it for a chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

**When You Were Young**

_You sit there in your heartache  
Waiting on some beautiful boy to  
To save you from your old ways  
You play forgiveness  
Watch it now ... here he comes! _

The noise from the party was slowly ebbing out of earshot as Lucas pulled the truck around the corner. The ride was silent, he could hear Brooke mumbling something incoherent in her sleep every once in awhile, but other than that, no one spoke.

"Should we take her to the doctors?" Peyton broke the cold silence by stealing a glance to Brooke in the backseat.

"She'll be fine." Lucas tossed Peyton the package of pills. "These are the same pills that guy gave you last year. She just needs to sleep it off."

"Oh." Silence again. Peyton sat up a little straighter and saw that the truck was turning onto Lucas' street, headlights illuminating each of the dark houses, one at a time. "Listen, Lucas, about before – "

He cut her off. "I can't deal with that right now." His voice was slightly cold, sounded somewhat annoyed. "Sorry," he added softly.

She just nodded, turning her attention away from him as he turned into the dark driveway and shut off the engine. Through the darkness that now embedded the car, Lucas tossed Peyton his house keys. "Can you unlock the side door and turn on my room light?"

She didn't respond, just obeyed. Picking her way across the slightly damp front lawn, she found the door, and after a minute of fumbling with the lock, it swung open.

The light flicked on, she could see remnants of two people living in this room. She hadn't stayed over for a week or so – she was just getting used to sleeping alone again – but she still had some shirts and a pair of jeans draped over his desk chair. It made her sick to see those things now, sitting in a room in which she felt so comfortable just a week ago.

But everything was different now.

A noise from behind her and she swung around to see Lucas enter the room, Brooke's small form curled in his arms. Stooping down, he laid her in his warm sheets, and pulled a blanket over her. She mumbled something and curled herself around one of his pillows. Lucas had to smile.

_He doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
But he talks like a gentleman  
Like you imagined when you were young_

_"It really is a shame that your mom and Keith got stuck in Charleston due to the snowstorm, Broody," said Brooke, pulling his body shop sweater down over her head._

_Lucas smiled from where he sat on his bed. "I know. I'm really all broken up about it. I _was _looking forward to a nice night alone, but it looks like I'm not gonna' get that," he said with a smirk, standing up and moving to wrap his arms around her waist._

_Moving closer to him, she breathed in. "Guess not," she whispered._

_"Don't worry," he said, kissing her lightly on the nose. "There's no other way I'd rather spend my Christmas night."_

_"Broody, don't hate me."_

_Lucas had to laugh. "Why would I hate you?"_

_"It's too cold for sex. We're gonna' have to cuddle," said Brooke in all seriousness._

_Lucas let out a low and husky laugh. "Oh, I think we can manage with that."_

_Brooke smiled, showing off her dimples. "Good," she said, crawling into the sheets and pulling Lucas down with her. Turning off the light, she curled up in his warm arms, and closed her eyes_

_"Hey Broody?" she asked after a minutes silence._

_"Yeah Brooke?"_

_"There's no other way I would rather spend my Christmas night either."_

_"I'm glad."_

_"Love you Luke."_

_"I love you too Pretty Girl."_

* * *

_Can we climb this mountain?  
I don't know  
Higher now than ever before_

His head was throbbing when he stumbled into the apartment at 2am, knocking over a coat stand as he did.

"Shit," he mumbled, kicking the stand to one side and flicking on the light.

Nathan pulled off his coat and tossed it on the counter as he moved to the kitchen cabinets and began to rummage around for instant coffee. Retrieving a mug from the cabinet, a voice made him jump.

"Make that two."

Turning around he saw Haley stand up from the couch with a yawn. He hadn't seen her there before, and he wordlessly grabbed another mug for her.

"It's late."

"I lost track of time." He wouldn't will himself to look up at her. "I'm sorry."

"I thought you weren't going to drink tonight." He could sense the tension in her voice, although he knew she was trying not to get angry.

He looked up and saw her disappointed face and had to break the gaze. He knew he had let down her and their family, and it was too painful to be reminded of that when he looked at her. "I – I know. I'm sorry."

"Ok."

He looked up, surprised. But she didn't look okay with it at all. She just looked defeated.

_I know we can make it if we take it slow  
Let's take it easy  
Easy now, watch it go_

* * *

_We're burning down the highway skyline  
On the back of a hurricane that started turning  
When you were young  
When you were young _

He left the door to his bedroom open a crack and made his way into the faintly lit kitchen, taking a seat next to Peyton.

There was a silence for a minute, and all they could hear was the stalling noises coming from the radiator.

"She'll be okay, right?"

"She'll be fine."

"Good."

"Yeah."

"Look, Lucas."

His head shot up. "I told you I couldn't do this right now."

"Oh." She sensed his anger and felt some confusion. Pushing her chair back she stood up and went over to the counter.

"What's wrong?" He asked, not turning to look at her,

"What the hell do you think is wrong?" The words came spilling out before she could stop them. "You, Luke. I have no idea whatsoever why you're mad at me, or why you won't talk to me about this."

"It's just not the right time," he said with a hiss.

"Why?"

The question was blunt and she figured he would retort with something along the lines of "Brooke…I have to make sure she's ok." Instead, it was a "Brooke. I can't do this while she's in this house."

"Oh." Her voice softened and her stomach flipped. "So, you still…"

"I don't know. I don't know anything!" Lucas' voice was full of a pent-up frustration that he couldn't control without a bang of his fist on the table. Peyton jumped a little and moved to fumble with the coffee maker.

_And sometimes you close your eyes  
and see the place where you used to live  
When you were young_

They didn't talk for a while after that. Peyton made coffee and every once in awhile one of them would go check on Brooke. But other than that, they sat in a silence. At least, until Peyton finally had the courage to say something.

"I wish we hadn't done that."

His head shot up, but she continued. "I wish you hadn't let it happen – not if you were still confused. I thought you had moved on. I thought you were over Brooke. That's why I waited so long. I wasn't going to hurt my best friend again. So I waited. I waited and I waited. Even _you _told me you were done fighting for her."

He tried to say something. Nothing inside his head made sense. "I'm gonna' go check on Brooke." Except that.

_They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet  
You don't have to drink right now  
But you can dip your feet  
Every once in a little while_

He was surprised to find her with her eyes open. She was fingering the soft material of his sheets and had a small smile.

"Brooke!" he said, rushing to her side.

"Remember Christmas?" she asked, voice soft and unconcerned.

He smiled. "Of course I do."

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. "Thank you, Luke."

His smile turned to a goofy one. "It was no big deal."

"You know it was."

_You sit there in your heartache  
Waiting on some beautiful boy to  
To save you from your old ways  
You play forgiveness  
Watch it now here he comes_

There was a silence. Although instead of being awkward, it was somehow peaceful – somehow seemed to fit.

"Brooke?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something."

She rolled onto her side and stared at the boy. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, fidgeted with his watch and nervously shifted in his chair.

"It's about Peyton."

"You kissed her."

He looked up, surprised. "How did you know?"

She shrugged and looked back up at the ceiling. "I just did."

"Look, Brooke, I just wanted to tell you that – "

She interrupted him. "Lucas, it's fine."

"It's what?" He wasn't sure he was hearing her correctly.

"It's fine." She smiled. "You're really good for her. You guys are lucky to have each other.

_He doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
But he talks like a gentleman  
Like you imagined when you were young_

And just like that, the puzzle pieces all fit together. Except when he stepped back to view what he had completed, it wasn't the way he imagined it to be. Not at all.

_I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
But more than you'll ever know  
_

* * *

Song: When You Were Young by The Killers

Review!_  
_


	6. Closer

**When The Sky Comes Crashing Down**

Hey guys, here's a new chapter. I just want to say that I'm really proud of this chapter because I think it's got a lot of great reveal but also moves the story along

Enjoy!

* * *

**Closer**

_Everyday I get a little closer, dear  
Will you love me darling when I get there?  
I'll need sunshine, I'll need rest  
Pour us whiskey, water, kiss_

Lucas watched Peyton squirm in her seat and he had to smile a bit to himself. It was pretty cute.

He knew she couldn't concentrate with him watching her like that. On more than one occasion over the past few weeks she had caught him in the middle of it – his electric blue eyes scanning her.

He had let her think it was because he liked to look at her. In his guilty conscience, he knew it wasn't. Behind his eyes, behind his goofy grin, all Lucas really could be was a lost boy, confused.

He used to do this with Brooke. But for entirely different reasons. He would scan Brooke's face to find the quirks he loved, he would scan her body to find the curves he loved, and he would scan her eyes to find the electricity he loved. He tried to find these in Peyton.

He had found some. Her awkward smile that she gave when she was nervous, the way her green eyes went dull when she was hiding something, the strangled laugh in her voice when she was trying to be sexual, as though she found the whole idea of it amusing. Each time he found a quirk, his brain automatically went into overdrive of why she wasn't Brooke. Brooke would laugh and shift her eyes when she was nervous. She would always fiddle with her necklace when she was hiding something. And he never found a laugh behind Brooke's sensuality – that was all real.

The relationship with Peyton had begun three weeks ago – the day after the party at Rachel's. If Lucas were asked to put up a timeline of the sequence of events, he wouldn't be able to do it. He remembered Brooke's words from that night – _"you guys are lucky to have each other" _– how could he forget them? And then the rest was a blur. The next thing he knew it was the next day in school and he was apologizing to Peyton and then kissing her. Yes, kissing her.

He wasn't sure how it happened.

But that didn't matter anymore.

He concentrated his attention now on the guidance counselor standing at the front of the room, and gave a small smile when Peyton squeezed his hand under the table.

"The reason we have called you all here today, is because you select students have been offered the opportunity to participate in a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Lucas looked around the classroom. Sitting at the table with him and Peyton was Haley and Mouth. Around the rest of the room he saw a few familiar faces, Erica Marsh, his lab partner from the year before, a guy from the team. The room was full of twenty high school seniors, all looking bored with life and waiting for this woman to get on with whatever she was going to say.

"As you know, Tree Hill High ranks its students every year. A portion of you are from the top of the class, – " she looked to Haley, who was valedictorian, and Lucas, Erica and Mouth, who were all in the top 10 of the class " – But there are another portion of you who we have chosen based on extracurricular activities, or excelled ability in a certain skill." Her last comment was directed towards Peyton, known for being the best artist of the seniors.

The guidance counselor took a deep breath as if preparing herself for the big unveils. "Your principal has decided he would like to reward those students who take their high school career, and life in general, seriously. He has narrowed those students down into you 265, who he believes have enough credits, and enough motive to complete their high school curriculum – in Italy."

Lucas sat up in his chair. He stole a glance at Peyton who was alert, eyes fixated on the woman and her last comment.

"We have developed an overseas program in which you 25 student can spend the final 2 months of their high school career immersing themselves in the culture of Italy. You will be completing your current courses via the Internet, while given the opportunity of a lifetime. You will return with full credits and just three days before your high school graduation."

The room, which had previously been filled with whispering and uninterested students, was now dead quiet. The guidance counselor smiled, she had obviously gotten the response she wished.

"We have a permission slip for each of you which must be signed by a parent or guardian if you are under 18, and a complete itinerary, along with payment information."

The next few minutes was a buzz of energy as the pamphlets and permission slips and forms were handed out, and eager students scanned the information on the trip. Peyton was completely entranced, her eyes pouring over the pamphlets.

Lucas looked to Haley, who looked slightly putout. She was absentmindedly smoothing the small bump that was beginning to form on her stomach. Lucas gave her a small smile, and she tried to return it, though the excited look was gone from her eyes. There was no way Haley could go on this trip.

* * *

"Hey Hales, how was the meeting?" Nathan asked, placing a kiss on his wife's forehead as she came through the door.

"It was fine." Anyone could tell she was grumpy about something. Although mood swings were definitely expected among pregnant women, Nathan had yet to see Haley in a bad mood over the past few weeks. Of course, there were the few days after Rachel's party where she was upset with him, but that blew over quickly, Haley realizing that her husband just needed to blow off a little steam.

"Judging by your tone of voice, I highly doubt that's true." Nathan pulled Haley onto his lap from where he was sitting on the couch.

"It's just – I realized today how much our lives are going to change by this pregnancy."

"You just realized that?" Nathan gave a little smile.

"Well, no. I always knew that. It's just, the meeting was about how this group of like 20 seniors are being given the opportunity to spend our last 2 months of school in Italy. And while I was sitting there – with all these other kids who didn't have a care in the world, who could just pack up and go to Europe – I realized I'm not going to be able to be spur-of-the-moment for another _18 years. _

Nathan smiled a little. "Hales, you were never spur-of-the-moment."

"Yeah, but doesn't it scare you?" Haley fingered her wedding ring.

"Of course it scares me. But Hales, the joy that we're going to have when this baby comes completely overpowers any fear that I ever had." He kissed her on the head. "Besides, who's to say that you can't go to Italy?"

Haley smiled sheepishly. "It's probably not the best idea to leave town and my husband to go overseas for two months when I'm three months pregnant."

"I know. I just figured I should say it."

* * *

_Remember me, she said smiling  
Write my name somewhere safe  
Touch and taste  
Fades with space  
I'll never be who you'll dream_

"So there's a party at Duke tonight."

"Not interested."

"Come on, Brooke," Rachel swung onto the couch, blocking Brooke's view of the television. "You haven't been to a party in forever."

"Three weeks," replied Brooke, holding up three manicured fingers. "I wouldn't call that forever."

"What's gotten in to you? You've been acting so weird since the party we threw."

"No I haven't."

"Yes you have."

Brooke sighed. She wasn't sure exactly why she wasn't disclosing the events of that evening to Rachel. If Rachel was Peyton – that's a funny thought – and Brooke was still on speaking terms with her former best friends, Brooke would have told her what happened in a heartbeat. But Rachel wasn't Peyton. Brooke doubted Rachel would give her undivided attention if she went into depressing details of why Brooke had been so down for the past few weeks.

So she wasn't going to say anything.

Understanding that Brooke wasn't going to respond, Rachel heaved an annoyed sigh and stood up from the couch, rolling her eyes. With one last disgusted look at her roommate, she left the room.

* * *

_Everyday I try a little harder, dear  
But those things you do, I don't wanna hear  
You'll have yours, I'll have mine  
No one guilty, no one right_

"So I'm assuming you want to go."

Peyton paused from her excited squealing and bouncing on her bed, to flop down and look Lucas in the eye. "Are you kidding me? Italy? _Italy? _This is a dream come true! No more high school, no more drama, no more…" Peyton trailed off. She was going to say Brooke, but wasn't sure of the response she would receive from her boyfriend.

Lucas smiled. Seeing her like this made him happy. Sometimes it was enough to drive away his guilty conscience. More often than not, it wasn't.

"It does sound like fun. Would your dad let you go?"

"In a heartbeat. I think he's always felt guilty that he hasn't been able to take me to Europe, 'cause I've always begged him to go."

"It's just – don't you think with Nathan and Haley, and my mom and the babies, that it would be reckless if we just packed up and went."

Peyton's face fell. "Yeah, I guess."

"I mean, if _I _just packed up and went," he hurriedly added. "But you," he said, grabbing her hands and looking her in the eye. "You have nothing stopping you from going."

If Lucas thought this would make her happier, clearly he was wrong. Her eyes lost their sparkle, and she let go of his hands. Taking a step off her bed, she moved to the window, and didn't speak for a few minutes.

"Lucas, no offense, but Nathan and Haley have each other – and your mom has a ridiculous amount of people who will look after her. While you being there may be nice, its not necessary. I know that's not your reason." She looked down at her hands. "Brooke, she – "

Lucas cut her off and responded in a firm voice. "No, Brooke has nothing to do with this. All those things you just said, your right. And I haven't done anything for myself in a long time." He stood up and went over to her. Taking her hands once again in his own, he looked deeply into her soft emerald eyes, and gave her a soft kiss. "We're going to Italy."

She smiled.

* * *

He found her in the small playground about 50 feet away from the Rivercourt. She was sitting with her head hanging down on one unbroken swing in the swing set. She was wearing cutoffs and flip flops, a blue hoodie, and her brown hair hung in loose curls down her chest. Her toes skimmed the ground as she gently swung in the dimly lit evening

"You came."

"I said I would."

He handed her the bag he had in his hand. "Here. It's just some jeans and a CD."

She took the bag from him, and stared him in the eyes. It startled him how breathtaking her green eyes looked in this light.

"That's what you called me for? You asked me to come to the Rivercourt at 10pm to give me some stuff I left at your house three months ago."

"Brooke – "

"Lucas, you have to stop doing this." He voice sounded tired and defeated. "You can't keep coming up with these excuses."

There was a silence as Brooke stopped herself from swinging. "Are you going?" she asked, without looking him in the eye.

The times he wasn't around her, it was easier to pretend he didn't care. That he didn't love her anymore. That he wanted to be with Peyton. And then there were the short looks Brooke gave him in class, or the hugs she gave him in passing. Those sparked his guilty conscience to rise in his chest. He responded in a strangled voice. "Yeah, I'm going."

"I'm glad."

"What, you wanted to get rid of me?" he tried to lighten the mood with a bad joke. She didn't find it funny.

"Lucas – you need to get away. I don't know what's going on, with you and me. But I think some time apart is going to put it in perspective."

It was like she was breaking up with him all over again. He looked down, determined to not let her see him cry.

"Hey," she said in a soft voice, lifting his chin. "Peyton is amazing. You're amazing. You guys are going to have a great time."

With those words she stood up from the swing and put a hand on his arm. Giving him a soft kiss on the cheek, she gave him some last words. "I love you Lucas."

She tried to step away but he grabbed her arm and brought her in for a searing kiss. She tried to push away at first, but he was forceful, pushing her against the swing's support. Sliding his tongue into her mouth, he moved his hand down to the small of her back. She let herself return the kiss finally, running her hands along his neck and up to his hair.

At that point he didn't care. Nothing mattered to him right now. Except her. And his lips on her own. It may have lasted for minutes; it may have only been a second. Time was gone to him.

It was her forceful push that brought him back to reality, and sent him stumbling backwards. He looked at her, an expression of pain and hurt moving across her stunned eyes and swollen lips. Tears came to her eyes and she finally spoke.

"I promised myself I would never be that girl."

And with that she was gone, tripping and stumbling as she ran away across the Rivercourt.

_Everyday I get a little closer, dear  
Gonna' drive fast all night till I get there  
Not much time we can waste  
Nothing great left to save_

* * *

Lyrics: Closer / Jimmy Eat World

PLEASE REVIEW

they help me through my day

:)


	7. Disintegration

**When the Sky Comes Crashing Down**

**Ok wow, you all probably think I'm like the worst person in the world for not updating in like ever, but I've had basically no inspiration, until today. And the chapters not amazing, but I have a great idea for the next. So, here you go...**

* * *

**Disintegration**_  
_

_I've spent my last nights  
strung up and pulled tight.  
Holding out, sleep and grow  
An answer comes without a please:  
'Do what you want.'_

Lucas felt a familiar squeeze on his hand and tore his eyes away from the plane window to look into Peyton's. She had an eager look on her face – that to which he would compare to an innocent toddler. He returned the smile and the squeeze encouragingly, and put his gaze back on the window, where he could see the plane slowly beginning it's descent into Charlotte.

It had been 7 weeks and 4 days since the two had jetted off to Venice, accompanied by a handful of their peers, including Mouth. Lucas had worked so hard to put Brooke out of his mind – get rid of the guilt he had felt over their last encounter – that he was surprised that it actually worked.

They slept together their second week there. It had been inevitable that it would happen, and he wasn't at all surprised when they ended up in the cool linens after sneaking out and drinking a little too much wine at a restaurant along the canal.

With Brooke, it had always been smooth. Sometimes it was fast, when they were desperate and eager. Or slow, when they were feeling drowsy and unconcerned. And with Peyton - It wasn't as though it hadn't been enjoyable. But with Peyton, their movement was awkward and slow. He found himself cringing at times, and knew she was too.

_Wonder why I'm so caught of guard when we kiss.  
Rather live my life in regret then do this.  
What happened to the love we both knew?  
We both chased.  
Hanging on a cigarette you need me,  
you burn me you'll burn me._

And then – to his surprise – it got better. Brooke was out of his mind, and Goldilocks was back in it. He told her he loved her one night, the week before they were to return. They were taking a walk, hand in hand, and he felt compelled to say it. It wasn't that he necessarily did – it was that he felt he should. She said it back.

He felt nauseous that night.

* * *

_Hushed with a finger  
Don't say you'll never when you might,  
or just another time.  
This poison comes instruction free.  
Do what you want, but I'm drinking.  
_

Haley was rambling on about something, and Brooke was paying no attention. She was searching the crowd, mind on nothing in particular. Then she heard it.

"…coming back today."

Brooke snapped out of her daze.

"Who?" she asked, even though she knew very well who.

Haley opened her mouth to say something, but Brooke cut her off.

"Never mind."

Haley nodded.

* * *

_"Answer the door," Haley mumbled into her pillow, as she smacked Nathan on the back. It was only 11:30, but they had both fallen asleep at an early hour that night._

_Nathan stood automatically and moved to the bedroom door. _

_"Is that how you always answer the door?" she asked, more awake, motioning to her husband standing shirtless in the entranceway to the room._

_"When I've been woken rudely in the dark night, and comprehend much motor coordination, yes."_

_He flicked on a switch and the room was flooded in light. Pulling open the door revealed a highly disheveled Brooke, who was crying hysterically on their doorstep. Nathan stood there for a minute, completely bewildered and unaware of what to do. Brooke immediately moved into his arms, and shook with sobs against his chest. _

_Nathan just stood there, with no idea what to do, what was wrong, or how to untangle himself from Brooke. Finally, he yelled to the bedroom. "Haley!"_

_Haley emerged from the room, to find Brooke collapsed in her husband's arms. Immediately, she took over, leading Brooke to the couch, and soothing the crying girl._

_Nathan stood in the kitchen. He had never seen Brooke like this before. He had known her since they were little kids, seen her on her 7th birthday when her parents forgot to come to her birthday dinner. He had witnessed her get punched in the face in 8th grade by an upperclassman cheerleader, and had watched her through both break-ups with Lucas. Until now, he had never seen her cry like this. Moving down the hallway, he retreated to the bedroom. He wasn't sure he wanted to see her like this. When Brooke wasn't strong, the whole world seemed out of place. _

_Haley had finally managed to quiet the sobbing girl down, and now Brooke was silent in her arms._

_"Shh," said Haley, soothing Brooke's remainder sobs. "What happened, girlie?"_

_The story came spilling out. The meeting, the kiss. How Brooke caved, let him love her one last time._

_"He wanted a good-bye kiss. I know that was it. He wanted a kiss where he knew it was over, and he could remember it as our last one. And I didn't – because I couldn't let myself be the girl I had accused Peyton of being so many times."_

_"But you stepped away. That was good. You're not Peyton. You knew what you were doing was wrong. And you left."_

_"Haley, that's not it. The kiss, it brought so much back. It made me want to be with him, even though I know we're better off without each other. I thought that when he left for Italy, I would finally be able to get over him. But now – " she paused for a minute – "now I don't know."_

_Wonder why I'm so caught off guard when we kiss.  
Rather live my life in regret then do this.  
What happened to the love we both knew?  
We both chased.  
Hanging on a cigarette you need me,  
you burn me you'll burn me._

_Lie lie better next time, stay on my side tonight oh  
Lie lie better next time, stay on my side tonight oh_

* * *

Surprisingly, it wasn't him she was thinking about. It wasn't him at all. As she got home, listened to the voicemail from Mouth saying they had landed, she wasn't thinking of Lucas. She was thinking of Chase.

He had arrived on the scene the week after Lucas' departure. Brooke had sabotaged him at a random party Rachel was throwing, and surprised him when he pulled back, a minute into their make-out session in the backyard.

He had held her hands and looked into her eyes, told her she was better than this. Better than sex. She had been too freaked out to answer, not sure how to deal with a guy who turned her down.

Lucas never turned her down.

And then she had grown to him. Chase, that is. She began to think about Lucas, second-guess whether he had actually loved her for her heart, or just for her body. When she talked to Chase, he listened. She didn't see hesitation in his eyes when he told her he loved her. It wasn't the only way he had to hold on to her. She had loved that look he gave her, and the way he said it, so she said it back.

She meant it.

They had sex that night for the first time. It was a month and a half into their relationship, and Brooke had felt like a failure and a terrible person afterwards. She whispered to Chase that she was sorry, they shouldn't have done it. He whispered back that it hadn't felt more right.

And then was the next morning. And came the call. His uncle had been in a car accident in LA, and was killed on the spot. They were moving back to California immediately to take care of his aunt. Chase wouldn't be back to Tree Hill. He was going to UCLA in the fall.

The two had said good-bye at the car at 7am on Friday morning. They whispered that they loved each other, but there were no words about a long distance relationship.

Those never lasted.

That had been a week ago and Brooke was still thinking about him. They had talked once, decided that it would be better to cut ties now, than to let their relationship drag into months of nothing.

He was the second boy she loved.

She knew why she loved him, more than she knew why she had loved Lucas.

Somehow, though, she had loved Lucas more.

_Wonder why I'm so caught of guard when we kiss  
I'd rather live my life in regret than do this  
What happened to the love we both knew, we both chased  
Hanging on a cigarette you need me you burn me you'll burn me  
What happened to the love we both knew, we both chased  
Hanging on a cigarette you need me you burn me you'll burn me._

* * *

_Reviews loved_

Song: Disintegration / Jimmy Eat World_  
_


	8. Avalanche

**When the Sky Comes Crashing Down**

Update!!!! this is much better than the last one, though i thank you for your reviews on the somewhat uneventful chapter

Enjoy!!!

* * *

**Avalanche**_  
_

_I found your photograph in a cardboard box in a magazine  
I can't remember you, remember us or anything  
I taught you how to feel, but you just feel numb  
They taught you how to feel, but you just feel numb_

Brooke was pondering.

_So this is what it must feel like to think, _she thought, amused at her own train of thought, as she stared out over the bustling quad. From where she sat, feet dangling off the flower planter, she could see Nathan and Haley seated at a lunch table, clearly having a light-hearted banter over something. She spotted Mouth, Skillz, and Bevin, peering at the screen of Mouth's laptop, set up in the shade of one of the trees. And finally, scanning the crowd, she could see Peyton and Lucas, intertwined on the lawn, cracking up about something on Peyton's ipod.

And Brooke was all alone.

It's funny how someone so popular, could feel so lonely sometimes.

_Oh, poor me, _she thought, bitterly, as she swung off the planter, in the midst of deciding whether to tell Peyton, or to bury it.

_Just like I told Peyton she should have buried her feelings for Lucas. _Only now Brooke understood why Peyton had told her. In the best interest of her friend, Brooke wanted Peyton to know what Lucas had done. Then she could make a uniformed decision on whether to take the bastard back, or leave him bleeding by the side of the road. Brooke sincerely hoped it was the latter. Lucas, in her opinion, deserved abandonment. And maybe by then, Peyton and her could bridge the gap and go back to being best friends.

_Maybe we would already have been by now, if I wasn't such a bitch._

It was so much easier when it was just hoes over bros.

_She comes apart in the avalanche  
Fades out like a dance  
Crawls back into bed  
When it's over_

* * *

"Nathan, there is no chance in hell that I am naming our son Bryant."

"Why not?" his face fell into a somewhat bemused expression.

"Um, number one, you are not getting off naming him off of a basketball player. And number two, you are not getting off naming him after a park in New York City."

"Yeah, well I doubt Boris is much better."

"How can you not like Boris?"

"Haley, we don't need our son to be as much of a geek as you. And Boris automatically labels him as a suspender and glasses wearing nerd."

Haley tried to put on a shocked and hurt expression, but her mouth immediately split into a grin, and she hit her husband playfully over the head with the book of baby names. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Brooke stand up from the planter she was perched on, and head in the direction of Peyton and Lucas.

"I'll be right back, I gotta' go talk to Brooke."

"Ok babe," said Nathan, picking up the book again.

* * *

"Brooke!" Brooke heard the familiar voice coming from her left, and she swung around to face Haley, waddling towards her.

"Hey tutorhormone, what's up?" she asked, tearing her eyes away from Lucas and Peyton.

"Um, there's something Nathan and I want to talk to you about."

"Can it wait? I've kinda' gotta' go do something."

"Yeah, it can wait. Why don't you come over tonight, like 7?"

"Sounds great," said Brooke in a rushed voice, eyes darting back to Peyton and Lucas.

Haley followed Brooke's gaze. "Tigger?" she asked, in a weary tone. "What are you about to do?"

Brooke huffed. "I just think Peyton should know the entire facts about Mr. Fabio over there."

Haley sighed. "Brooke, don't you think it's better if you just bury the kiss?"

"Why?" she asked in a defiant tone. "I'm saving Peyton the same heartache that Lucas never spared me."

"Yeah," said Haley, in a frustrated tone. "Only this time it was _one _kiss, okay? You and Lucas aren't sneaking around behind Peyton's back." Haley paused. "You and Lucas aren't sneaking around behind Peyton's back, right?"

"No, Haley, _I _am not a back-stabbing two-faced bitch, unlike some people."

"Brooke," said Haley, voice soothing. "They're happy. Why can't you just let them be?"

"Let Peyton be in a relationship based on a lie?"

"I think – " Haley paused. "You know what, never mind."

"Haley James Scott, tell me right now."

When Brooke wasn't using one of her ridiculous nicknames, Haley could tell she was being serious.

Haley sighed, and then launched in to speak her train of thought. "Ok, you're going to kill me for saying this, but I think the reason you want to do this is to, I don't know, _sabotage _their relationship."

"Why the hell would I care about their relationship?"

"Because you still love Lucas."

Brooke took a step back, as if Haley had slapped her. "Why the fuck would I still love Lucas?"

"Brooke, you showed up on my doorstep a month and half ago, and bawled for two days straight over the boy who had broken your heart twice, and then kissed you and left for Italy for 6 weeks."

"Haley!"

"_Then,_" continued Haley, plowing through. "You got together with Chase, and I thought, 'oh, maybe she's over Lucas.' And you fell in love with Chase. But then he left, and you were depressed. But you never cried over him. You _always _cry over Lucas."

Brooke was just staring at Haley with her mouth open. "You're wrong," she said in a strangled voice.

"Maybe I am. But Brooke – " she said in a soft voice. "They're happy. If you love him – or even if you don't," she added, spotting the protest on Brooke's face. "Don't you want him to be happy?"

Brooke contemplated this last question. Of course she wanted Lucas to be happy. Even when she hated him most, even when she wished he was miserable, like she did now, she wanted him to be happy in the long run. Wherever he ended up. Depending on where they were of the vicious cycle that was their relationship, sometimes she saw herself with him, sometimes she saw him alone, sometimes she even saw him with Peyton. Right now, she didn't even know whom he would be happy with. But one thing she knew, as she broke down to conform to Haley's wishes, she _did _want him to be happy.

"Ok," she said quietly. "Ok," she spoke up in a more convincing tone.

Haley smiled. "So I'll see you tonight? Call me if you need anything."

"Will do. Thanks tutormom," Brooke responded, before making a beeline for Peyton and Lucas.

"Brooke!" Haley called, in disbelief that her speech had gone through one ear of her friend, and out the other.

Brooke smiled back at Haley. "Don't worry. It's about something else," she yelled, before turning back to head for the happy pair.

* * *

"Hey guys," said Brooke, seemingly unfazed by the PDA Peyton and Lucas were exhibiting.

Lucas jumped up, upon hearing her voice. Brooke couldn't help but smirk. "H-hi Brooke. How've you been?"

Brooke smiled, genuinely. "I've been great. How was Italy?"

Peyton stood up and hung behind Lucas, not meeting Brooke's gaze. Brooke had the ability to put anyone on edge, make anyone feel inferior. Peyton could still feel the slap Brooke had administered to her – though it had been a good 5 months ago.

"It was great," said Lucas, mustering some strength into his voice.

"Luke? Do you think I could talk to Peyton for a minute?" She smiled sweetly.

The expression on Lucas' face turned to a defeated horror. "S-sure." Brooke was pleased by the control she still held over him. She knew he thought she was about to tell Peyton about the kiss. She could be nice and give him a reassuring nod. But Brooke liked to watch him sweat.

* * *

"So…how've you been?" asked Peyton, after a good two minutes of silence. The girls were sitting on the planter that Brooke had previously been perched on. The bell had rung a few minutes ago, but neither cared about missing health. The quad was scattered with just a few people who had a free period. Brooke could spot Lucas skulking nervously over by the bulletin board.

"Peyton, I'm sorry," stated Brooke simply.

"W-what. _You're _sorry?"

"You know, I've been thinking. I don't blame you for what's happened. You're right. You can't help who you love," she said, fingering her bracelet.

"Brooke…what drugs are you on?"

Brooke laughed. "None, trust me. It's just, I've had 6 weeks to cool down. And in the scope of my entire life, this one thing is no reason to cut you out."

Peyton was speechless. She stared at her former best friend for a few minutes, before looking down. "So that's it?"

Brooke looked surprised.

"You forgive me? Well, what if I don't forgive you? Brooke, you cut me out of your life because I was honest with you. This year, I needed my best friend, more than ever. And you weren't there."

Brooke didn't know what to say. Although she could revoke her forgiveness instantly and go back to being bitch Brooke, something in the hurt way Peyton looked at her, made her break down and say the words. "Peyton, I'm sorry."

Peyton was taken aback. Those words, those were all she needed. As the two girls looked at each other, they realized, though they had many more bridges to mend, this current one had been crossed. Both welcomed the embrace gratefully.

_I watch the window and listen for the sound of cars  
I can't remember the last time that it was yours  
I taught you how to feel, why do you feel numb  
They taught us how to feel, but we just feel numb_

* * *

"Haley, open the door! I'm getting soaked!" Brooke, who had just blow-dried her brunette locks into soft waves, and was no frantically protecting her hair with a sorry excuse for an umbrella, did not welcome the sudden rainstorm gratefully. The frayed hems of her American Eagle jeans were soaked, as well as her Pumas. Thankfully her mascara or eyeliner hadn't run, and her black tank was only splattered slightly by the rain.

"Sorry, Brooke," said Haley, swinging open the door, beckoning her friend in. Brooke began on a tirade over how Haley should install a louder buzzer, but stopped mid-sentence when she saw who was seated across the counter in the kitchen from Nathan.

"Hey Brooke," said Lucas in a slightly amused tone over her angry rant, obviously over his nerves from earlier.

"Hey," she responded, bitterly. Haley had said _nothing _about the nameless one being there, and Brooke was about ready to march out the door, when Nathan spoke up.

"Okay Brooke, I know that look, and before you stomp out moodily, just sit down and listen to what we have to say."

Brooke sighed, and gave in to Nathan, taking a seat at the counter next to Lucas. Feeling her ex-boyfriends gaze on her, she shot him a look, which triggered his snap back into reality.

He couldn't help but stare. Even soaked through from the rain, Brooke looked gorgeous. Effortlessly, she had established a way to taunt Lucas, with her carelessly thrown on tank top that gave Lucas a plain view of her toned arms and obvious cleavage.

_No, stop it Lucas. _He had to literally force himself to stop thinking about her. He had a girlfriend, Peyton Sawyer. _Peyton, not Brooke. _

Haley moved around the counter and wrapped her arms around Nathan. "Okay, so we've given it a lot of thought, and we want you guys to be the godparents of our son."

Lucas had expected it. Nathan had even told him after the news of Haley's pregnancy had gotten out. But his eyes immediately traveled to Brooke's to see her reaction.

She had tears in her eyes. _So much for the mascara _she thought.

"_I told you, I'm not pregnant!"_

"_Whatever you say, but you can't have the baby. You'd be a terrible mother." Rachel was obviously not fazed by her putdown of Brooke's character._

"_Why would I be a terrible mother?" Brooke's face fell._

"_Because we all turn into our parents. I mean as soon as Brooke Junior hits puberty, Brooke Senior hits South Beach."_

_The hurt girl spoke up in a strangled voice. **"**I will not."_

The embrace between Haley and Brooke was long, and filled with tears on Brooke's part.

"God, I am such a girl!" said Brooke, sniffling, as they broke apart. Everyone laughed. "Thank you guys, so much," she said, giving Nathan a hug as well.

"Thank _you. _Both of you have been there for us so much."

Brooke stole a glance at Lucas and they shared a small smile.

* * *

Even though it was raining, he needed the Rivercourt. The day had been stressful, and right now, all he wanted to hear was the swish of leather through net. It took him off guard when he pushed open the door of his car and saw the familiar form huddled on a picnic table.

The rain had turned to a soft mist by now, and it left an eerie fog against the water along the river. The day had turned into an early evening, and the sky was grey but still light.

"Hey," he said, daringly taking the seat next to her. "So much for your curls," he said, eyeing her wet hair.

Brooke smiled quickly, wiping the recent tears from her eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked, taken aback.

She gave a small smile, and then looked out over the Rivercourt. "Do you think I'll be a terrible mother?"

The question was random and unexpected, but his answer immediate.

"No, never."

That was all she needed, and a soft silence settled over the two of them.

"Hey Brooke?" Lucas asked, after a minute of silence.

"mmhmm?" she answered in a calm trance.

"Thank you for not telling Peyton."

She looked down for a minute. Standing up, she gave him some last words before walking away. "There was nothing to tell."

_She falls apart in the avalanche  
Fades out like a dance  
And crawls back into bed  
When it's over_

* * *

_Reviews are love _

_Song is Avalanche by Ryan Adams _


	9. More Than a Love Song

**When the Sky Comes Crashing Down**

Hola!

It's me, Emma, finally back with an Update. I know you guys are probably wondering whats going on with Finding Our Way Back to Us, but I have a few directions that I can pull the story, and I need to decide one.

and I think you will all hopefully be satisfied by this Update (I think you will). I've worked hard on it, so enjoy!

* * *

**More Than a Love Song**_  
_

_What can I say? I miss your eyes  
Nothing more  
What can a love song provide?  
Nothing more_

Smoothing out her pale blue dress and pulling her cheap satin gown over her head, she stared sadly at her reflection in the mirror. This was not how it was supposed to end. Graduation day was not supposed to be bitter, tense, and filled with repressed secrets. Maybe sad, but she never expected to feel this kind of sadness. She didn't feel anxious for what lay ahead – she mainly felt empty.

The letter had come in the mail four days ago. It had come so late, that she had already reassured herself that it wouldn't come at all. And then it was there, NYU logo emblazoned into the crisp envelope, as well as the clean and unblemished acceptance letter. And in those 5 seconds it took for her to read the paragraph, her future was decided.

She hadn't told anyone yet – not even Haley, who she had been spending every waking hour with. She knew it probably annoyed Nathan that she was around the apartment 24/7 either teasing him about his hair, rushing out to retrieve everything that satisfied Haley's cravings, and especially when she was whining.

It didn't happen too much anymore, the whining that is. For a while Brooke had put on a 'woe is me' front, but lately she had been surprisingly put together. She knew it was because of the letter, because finally she had a set plan to get out of this place, leave behind the mistakes she had made, the person she had become. She person she no longer wanted to be.

The reuniting with Peyton was still on, although both girls were smart enough to know that too much had changed. They'd made an effort, this past week, going shopping, going to lunch, and sitting in Peyton's room listening to music. But nothing was the same anymore. The elephant in the room was Lucas, and sometimes quite literally he was. Brooke felt as though she was unintentionally pulling Peyton away from the boy she loved. If Lucas arrived, Brooke left. If Brooke arrived, she stared Lucas down until he left. And Brooke didn't want Peyton to have to make the decision between Brooke and Lucas. Because, she admitted with a sick feeling, Peyton would ultimately choose Brooke. She was that good of a friend – and she missed Brooke too much.

But Brooke had put up a guard. The two hadn't spoken in two days, and while things wouldn't be hostile when they saw each other at graduation, the tension and the awkwardness to the air would be obvious.

She pulled on the itchy hat, and fingered the tassel that hung over it's edge. She got one last good look at herself, mascara and pink lipstick, soft waves that hung down to her ribcage, locket around her neck (sent by her parents from Hawaii with a note reading "Have fun at graduation. See you when we arrive home!"), and Lucas' bracelet still around her wrist.

"This is it," she said to herself, and not until she was in the car and on her way to Tree Hill High, did she realize that this really was it.

_Words are a lovely try  
For something more  
And I wanna give to you  
Give to you..._

* * *

The lawn was noisy, kids were screaming and running around, parents were fumbling with video cameras, students were goofing off. Not Brooke. She was in an odd sort-of trance, simply observing her surroundings, hovering over whether to go find her friends, or to simply begin to untangle herself and dissolve off into nothing.

But in only the matter of seconds it took to decide, Brooke was being ushered into the front row with the honor students. As student body president, she had to make a speech, and it had been written and rewritten, and now sat ready, as she clamped it in her sweaty hand. She took a seat next to Haley, who was muttering something about the baby kicking like David Beckham today.

* * *

Haley's speech was first. Lucas whistled and pounded his feet on the ground. He was seated as Lucas Scott in between Nathan Scott and Peyton Sawyer, feeling somewhat trapped with Peyton's hand squeezing his own.

Did Brooke ever annoy him this much?

No, don't go there. Just keep your mind on Haley.

It was slightly amusing to see Haley waddle up to the podium, and take the microphone sweetly from principal Turner. After the speech (which sent Peyton to tears) was over, Lucas looked over to see a look of relaxation settle over Nathan. He knew that his younger brother had been worrying that a batch of hormones would wash over Haley mid-speech and that was never good. But the delivery was calm and relaxed, no bursting out in anger or tears.

But now it was Brooke's turn. And Lucas wasn't sure if Haley had any tissues on her.

It was hard not to notice how gorgeous she looked. Brooke briefly met Lucas' eyes, but then looked down to her speech. Before speaking up, he watched her scan the crowd with a glimmer of hope, before her face fell again.

Her parent's really weren't coming.

"You know, I got to Tree Hill High as a freshman in desperate need of a reality check. In some ways, I think that's the way we all start high school. Naïve and unaware of the pain and bitter truth of the real world. We say things, and do things, make mistakes, mainly because we aren't sure how else to learn. We lose our way. At least, I know I did.

"What people don't understand is that making mistakes is okay. No one expects anyone to be perfect. You aren't a good person every day. You screw up. And that's okay. No one should judge based on one mistake. That's why we invented second chances."

_More than a love song can give  
More than a feeling like this  
More than a dim light upon the path you walk_

Lucas couldn't look away even though her eyes were on him. She paused, and he could see her intake of breath to begin her next sentence.

"And you probably all wonder why I'm telling you this? Some call college tedious. Some call it exciting. Some call it important. Some call it stupid. I say, the end of high school, the start of college, this is when you get to become someone new. Reinvent yourself. Forget the person you were, live in the person you've become."

Brooke paused here, taking one last glance at her speech, before hesitating, and then ripping it up. A murmur flew through the crowd, and she looked up, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"I was just looking down at this speech, realizing that I wrote it because I was afraid. I didn't want to think about what's going to happen when we all leave, when we all truly do start over. Because yeah, we may be given labels. We may want to destroy those labels. I know I do. But the scariest, most terrifying thing is that by erasing what these four year have done to us, we are erasing the people that have changed us, in most cases, for the better. I know that I wouldn't give up the mistakes I've made and the people I've met for anything." She shook her head through the tears. "Not for the world."

_More than the words can explain  
More than the falling rain  
More than the sun shines upon your lovely face  
It's more than a love song_

* * *

Brooke was there to receive her diploma, and then Lucas blinked and she was gone. Scanning the circulating crowd, he felt his insides turn and throat close up. He needed to find her.

And then she was at his side, slipping her cool hand into his own. It was a few seconds before he realized it wasn't her. It was the other _her._

"Hey babe, what's wrong?"

Instinctively he withdrew, still looking over the crowd. "Nothing, I just – "

"She left you know." The voice was small and unsure, as if Peyton wasn't exactly confident in what she was saying. Lucas looked back to his girlfriend. "Who?"

She smiled bitterly. "You know who." She sighed and pulled him over to a quieter place, away from the chaos that was the front lawn.

"Look, Lucas, Brooke's a big girl. She can take care of herself."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Look, I think it's great that you like to save people and all, Lucas – "

"Is that what you think this is?" he asked, disgusted. "That I like 'saving people and all?' Look, I'm just looking out for a friend, who obviously is upset about something. Gosh, I mean you, of all people, should understand that."

Peyton folded her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"The entire time Brooke and I were together, do you know what the basis of all our fights were?"

"No, but I guess you're going to tell me."

"You! Okay, I would always be leaving and going to fix you. When I went with you to go see if your dad was okay, when I went with you to go see Ellie, when I went to go save your ass in the library!"  
Peyton had fury set upon her face now. "Hey, I never asked you to come help me any of those times. You played the hero!"

"Yeah, and you've got your life on the fact that I did!" The words were angry, and his sentences were spat from his mouth.

"Why does that matter? You and Brooke aren't together anymore."

"Thanks to you."

She stepped back as though he had slapped her. His face didn't soften however – he didn't feel sorry at all.

"So then what is this? What are we? What do I get? Brooke's leftovers?"

Lucas was about to speak up, but Peyton cut him off. "You know what Lucas, I'll spare you the trouble of breaking off a relationship that I now find out is pretty much based on nothing." She shoved him away. "We're done."

And then she was gone, gown whipping around behind her as she disappeared back into the crowd. But Lucas didn't find himself chasing after her. No, he was heading towards the parking lot, car keys jingling in his pocket. And he knew exactly where he was going.

* * *

She already had her dress unzipped, her shoes long since kicked under the bed, when she heard the door slam downstairs. Hurriedly she zipped her dress up again, moving out into the hallway to see who was ascending the stairs. And then she saw him, and saw the look on his face. And he clearly wasn't happy.

He pushed his way passed her, into the bedroom, and whipped around to face her.

"So Peyton broke up with me."

"Oh, um, I'm s – "

"You wanna' know why? Because I was supposedly a jackass in my wish to go see if you were okay. So I guess it's your fault. Your fault that I messed up my relationship with Peyton." He laughed bitterly. "But, I guess that's okay. Since clearly Peyton messed up yours and mine."

Brooke had no idea where he was going with his train of thought. "Lucas…"

"Is that why you dumped me?" he asked, taking a step towards her. "Because of Peyton. Because I'd already used up my second chance?"

"Lucas, I told you already…"

"Yeah, you told me. Told me you didn't miss me anymore. You know what I think? I think that's a load of crap. I think you were just too goddamn scared to let _me _in. You said I didn't open up to you? Yeah, well maybe I didn't because you were too fucking withdrawn from me. Maybe I thought I just needed to regain your trust."

He paused for a minute, looking towards the girl standing there, looking tiny and afraid. And he knew he needed to leave soon, because he knew he didn't have enough self-restraint to not kiss her in that moment.

"_You _didn't trust me. You never did. I made the stupid mistake in thinking that I was forgiven. Clearly I wasn't. And you know what? Neither are you."

He pushed past her and left the room, not looking back, not letting himself watch her cry. That would be too hard.

When he arrived home, twenty seconds hadn't even passed after he slammed the door to his bedroom behind him when she was pushing it open again. Her eyes were red from crying, but there was a new fire in them that he hadn't seen before. And she just picked up the conversation right where they left off. Only this time, she was the one yelling.

"You say I didn't open up to you? What about when I called you ten times while you were away, and never got a call back! Or how about when I gave you _every single one _of those fucking 82 letters that I sent you over the summer? Or how about when I let you back in, even _after _you had cheated on me with my best friend? Look, Lucas, you chose Peyton. There is _nothing _more to it."

"I chose Peyton? I chose PEYTON?! Yeah after you basically shoved her down my throat. I fought for you for so long, only to be told to go back to Peyton."

Brooke laughed bitterly. "Lucas, you fought for me for a day, before basically telling me that I wasn't worth it anymore, and that you weren't the guy for me. What the hell was I supposed to do? Let you be miserable for the rest of your life? I wanted you to be happy!"  
"You mean, by pushing me away from you?"

"Yeah, we were certainly a prize couple. We were totally meant to be together. We never fought. When asked to picture myself in ten years, I always pictured us with a white picket fence and two little girls running around, and us being a happy couple."

_And I found a way to come to me  
And show me where  
Show me where right used to be  
And put me there_

Lucas softened a little. "No you didn't," he said, noting her sarcasm rather sadly.

Brooke sighed. "Yeah, well, neither did you."

She was halfway to the door when he was saying her name. "Brooke!" He grabbed her arm, perhaps more roughly then intended.

She turned back, surprised.

"No. You don't get to walk away this time. I'm fighting for you."

_Well, this is enough to see  
Something more  
And I wanna give to you  
Give to you..._

He pulled her body towards his and the kiss was rough and desperate. She gave in immediately after their lips touched, and was already fighting with the buttons on his shirt. He slammed the door closed and pushed her up against it, not breaking the kiss, not surfacing for air. Her lips were soft against his own, her hands in his hair.

_More than a love song can give  
More than a feeling like this  
More than a dim light upon the path you walk _

He broke the kiss and his mouth went to her neck. She let out a soft moan, and his hands began to run to the back off her dress. It was unzipped in a seconds, then his shirt was gone.

_More than the words can explain  
More than the falling rain  
More than the sun shines upon your lovely face _

They were toppling onto the messy bed, a whir of kisses with swollen lips and a tangle of limbs. Between kisses he managed to mumble a "birth…control…?"

_And I look upon your face  
And it's beauty to me  
And I look upon and it's beauty to me  
And it's beauty to me _

She nodded and got out a strangled "still…on it."

From then on it was a mess of cool skin pressed up against cool skin, the desperate need to be even closer, the sense of security of Lucas hovering over her.

At one moment there was a whisper of "I love you," from him. And as he cupped her cheek in his hand, she began to cry.

_And it's beauty to me  
To me, to me  
To me, to me_

"I love you too."

_It's more than a love song  
It's more than a love song  
It's more than a love song_

* * *

_Credit: More than a Love Song / Augustana_

I hope you all loved this Update, and know that it is by no means the end. I have at least a few more chapters left in me, and maybe more if I end up swinging the story a certain way.

And yes, Brooke did cry during sex. What? I thought it was cute...

Reviews love_  
_


	10. Heartbeats

**When the Sky Comes Crashing Down**

Finalllly I have an update for you guys...and I'm really proud of this one and the song I used - so please review. )

Just so you know, I only have one more chapter, or maybe two, left in me. But there will be a short sequel, so stay tuned!

And thanks to allll you reviewers (especially Leah and Jacko...or should I say **LAMBCHOP**)

heeheee, okay. Enjoy...

* * *

**Heartbeats**_  
_

_  
One night to be confused  
one night to speed up truth  
we had a promise made  
four hands and then away_

Afterwards they lay tangled in his sheets, his arms wrapped tightly around her small frame, there bodies pressed up against one another. Her hair was spread across the pillow, their noses were touching, he was stroking her cheek, wiping away the tears that had slipped from her eye.

It was one more look, one more kiss, before she was sitting up in the linens, and the tears were beginning again.

"Brooke," it came out a sigh – he had been expecting this.

"I have to go," she said, pulling the sheet tight around her, as she moved to the chair to grab her clothes. In a frenzied mess, she was now in her underwear and bra, sheet still tightly secure around her body, which was shaking with tears.

"Brooke." She wouldn't look at him. He pulled on his boxers, which lay scattered on the floor, and gently put his hand on her shoulder.

She pulled away. "Where's my dress?" she asked, frustration now arising in her voice.

"Brooke. Please don't go." He wouldn't let himself cry, not in front of her. But the girl he loved, the girl he needed, was quickly slipping through his grasp in the time it took for him to say, "I love you."

"Lucas," she breathed, the sound of those three words washing over her. "Please don't do this." She turned to face him. "We can't do this. Not to Peyton."

"But, she broke up with me." His voice was strangled and broken.

"It doesn't matter." She shook her head. "This wasn't right."

"Just, just stay the night."

_both under influence  
we had divine scent  
to know what to say  
mind is a razor blade_

She was shocked looking up into his eyes, as she saw a desperation and fear that had never emerged in the Lucas Scott she knew. She looked to the window, saw the shadow that the setting sun was making against his desk, and she gave in. With a sigh, she nodded and dropped the sheet. He took his Keith's body shop sweater and gently pulled it over her head.

Within seconds the room was enveloped in darkness. He had never felt her presence this much. Her entire form was curled up in his own, and her hand was tightly gripped in his, her face buried in his chest.

It took a few minutes for her to stop crying. But even after he had soothed her to sleep, he stayed awake and listened to her breathe.

_to call for hands of above  
to lean on  
wouldn't be good enough  
for me, no_

* * *

His phone was ringing.

It took Lucas a few seconds to realize it, after he had opened his eyes and adjusted to the light streaming in through his bedroom window. He reached over to stretch his hand to his bedside table, before sensing a stir next to him. He paused in his motion, not wanting to awaken Brooke from her slumber.

She was still lying, curled up in his form, and a small smile played over her pursed lips. Her eyelids fluttered slightly as he stroked the soft locks that cascaded down to the hem of his sweater that he had put on her the night before.

Part of him wanted to lie like this all day – she asleep in his arms, but looking at the clock he knew his mom would be awake soon, and he wasn't sure how he would explain the situation if she entered the room.

He began playing kisses up and down Brooke's collarbone, then to her nose, and finally a few on her ear. The frown on her face disappeared – replaced by a soft smile as he nibbled playfully on her ear.

And her eyes opened. He stopped for a minute – searching her gaze – afraid she would be where she was last night – regretful and guilty. But instead, she smiled up at him, eyes twinkling slightly as she found his hand under the sheets and took is slowly in her own.

_one night of magic rush  
the start a simple touch  
one night to push and scream  
and then relief_

"Hey you," he smiled, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Hi," she responded softly with a yawn, pressing her weight further into his side.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked, nuzzling her cheek.

"Better than I have in months."

She rolled over on top of him, and took his lips in hers, running her hand along his slightly grown in buzz-cut. He bit down on her lip teasingly and ran his foot slowly up her leg. She deepened the kiss, moving her hand down to his chest, and letting out a soft sigh.

"Lucas!" There was a knock on Lucas' bedroom side door as Nathan came barging frantically in to the room. Brooke gave a squeal of surprise and rolled off Lucas, pulling the sheet with her.

Nathan let out a short yell, and covered his eyes. "Oh my god, I've been scarred for life!"

"Don't you knock?" asked Lucas, craning his neck to see his brother.

"Well, considering I heard Peyton broke up with you, I wasn't exactly expecting to barge on you in bed with a girl. Let alone your ex-girlfriend." He eyed Brooke. "Clearly I was wrong."

_ten days of perfect tunes  
the colors red and blue  
we had a promise made  
we were in love_

Brooke got out of the bed, still in Lucas' sweater, and sheet wrapped tightly around her. Nathan calmly turned to Lucas as she pulled on her dress, which had been hanging over the back of Lucas' desk chair.

"I knew you two couldn't stay away from each other," Nathan rambled on. "I mean – Luke, you brooded for like 2 months over her. I've never seen you so fucking depressed. And then – "

"Uh Nathan, what's up?"

"What? Oh, sorry. Yeah. Haley's in labor."

"WHAT?" exclaimed Lucas and Brooke at the same time, both shocked by Nathan's nonchalant attitude.

"Yeah, but her water broke twelve hours ago, and she's only dilated like 2 centimeters. I know because I measured it myself," he said with a satisfied smile.

"Okay, not a visual I _ever _need again," said Lucas with a grimace. "So why didn't you just leave me a voicemail."

"Um, check your phones. I left you both like 5. But I guess you were too, um, _busy,_ to answer them," Nathan replied with a smirk. Brooke was quick in smacking him across the arm.

"Anyway, I figured you two shouldn't miss the birth of your godchild. So get to the hospital. I'll meet you there."

And then he was gone.

_  
to call for hands of above  
to lean on  
wouldn't be good enough  
for me, no_

He turned to her, where she stood in the center of his room, curling her toes over the carpet and biting down on her lip. She was in her dress from yesterday, and it was wrinkled, with one of the straps hanging off her shoulder. Her hair was frizzy, and her lips swollen, but she still looked gorgeous.

She broke the silence. "I think I should take a shower before we head over."

"Oh. Yeah. Go ahead." He smiled goofily as she moved to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

* * *

The water was scalding on top of her smooth skin. She felt the hickey on her collarbone and smiled softly into the stream of the shower. And through the steam and sound of the running water, she heard the bathroom door open.

And then he was behind her, his own skin pressing up against hers, his lips in her wet hair. She turned around in his arms and looked up into the eyes that were fixated solely on her. She moved her gaze to the tattoo that remained a permanent fixture on his right shoulder.

"I lied."

He looked confused as she traced the ink lining on his arm, and let him put his fingers against the identical tracing on her hip.

"About what?"

"The tattoo," she whispered into him. "It doesn't mean fun."

"Well what does it mean?" he said, lips inches away from hers.

"It means love," she responded, before closing the gap.

_and you, you knew the hands of the devil  
and you, kept us awake with wolf teeth  
sharing different heartbeats  
in one night_

* * *

She'd grabbed the pair of her jeans that still sat in his bottom dresser drawer and the tank top she'd left hanging in his closet months ago. She'd applied her mascara that was still in his cabinet, hurriedly, pushing Lucas away playfully as he tried to plant kisses up and down her neck.

Finally they were on their way to the hospital. And of course it was just their luck that a certain black convertible pulled up right behind them.

All three of them froze as they got out of their respective vehicles. For someone who had just dumped her boyfriend the night before, Peyton seemed surprisingly well put together. But the glare she gave to Lucas was enough to send him propelled into the hospital, with a muttering of going to find Nathan and Haley. Brooke turned to Peyton.

"He, he just gave me a ride. My car broke down."

Peyton sighed. "You don't need to lie, Brooke."

"What are you talking about?"

The blonde leaned up against her car. "I may be blonde, but I'm not stupid." She pointed to Brooke's jeans. "Those jeans have been in his bottom drawer since you guys broke up. That tank top has been hanging in his closet. The hair tie?" she pointed to Brooke's ponytail. "From a pack of 100 rainbow colored rubber bands that are in his bathroom cabinet."

Brooke didn't know what to say. "Peyton, I'm so sorry."

"I've tried to ignore it, you know? Just told myself he forgot all that stuff was yours. But like I said – I'm not stupid." She laughed. "He never loved me."

"Of course he did," responded Brooke desperately.

"Maybe that's true. But nowhere near as much as he loves you."

_to call for hands of above  
to lean on  
wouldn't be good enough  
for me, no_

* * *

_song: Heartbeats by José Gonzáles_

Please review!!!!1_  
_


	11. World Spins Madly On

_**A/N: **_Drumroll please! Here it is, the last and final chapter. I know you all had to wait a ridiculous amount of time for this, and I'm SO sorry, but here it is now!

**There may or may not be an epilogue.** There probably will be, unless I decide that I am going to write a sequel, which I probably won't

Anyway, enjoy! And thank you all so much for reading this fic! If you haven't reviewed on previous chapters, I hope you do on this last one (or the epilogue if there is one). I want to hear about what you all thought of the ending.

* * *

**11. ****World Spins Madly On**_  
_

_Woke up and wished that I was dead  
With an aching in my head  
I lay motionless in bed  
I thought of you and where you'd gone  
and let the world spin madly on_

She was moving through the halls of Tree Hill Memorial Hospital at a normal pace, but it seemed like she was standing still, as the crowds bustled and jostled around her. She wasn't quite sure where this new jolt of nervous adrenaline had come from, but all she could keep picturing was Peyton.

Rebecca Brooklyn Scott had been born exactly 1 hour and 4 minutes ago. She weighed a grand total of 6 pounds, and four ounces, and Brooke had held her for 9 minutes and 47 seconds.

After she had passed Becca back to her mother and people flowed in and out of the hospital room, Brooke had somehow slipped out without being seen, and wandered off to the nursery, standing with a hand pressed against the glass, silently watching the newborns as they barely moved in their slumber.

He found her here, eyes focused Rebecca in the front row. Coming up behind Brooke, Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss into the back of her neck. He felt her tense up, and then slowly move away.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she turned around to face him.

"Nothing, it's just…"

"What?"

"I don't know if I can do this," she muttered, as though she didn't believe her own words.

"Do what?"

"This! Us." She sighed and leaned against the glass panel of the nursery.

"I don't understand," he said, clearly irritated, shaking his head. "You said this morning – "

"That was this morning, Lucas." She hadn't meant to snap, but her words had slipped out that way. "I just – I can't do this to Peyton."

"Peyton and I broke up!"

"I'm aware." She softened her voice. The look on her best friends face as she realized what had gone on the previous night was not one of surprise or even anger. All Brooke saw etched in Peyton's eyes was defeat. As if she had tried to hold on so long to something that wasn't really there. And in that moment, Brooke felt a heard wrenching connection to her best friend. It reminded her that she _never _wanted to feel the way she had felt earlier that year again. As though her heart was being ripped away from her slowly, and all she knew about love was slipping out of her fingers.

"Look, Lucas. Maybe we just need some space."

"Space? That's all we've had for months!" He hated that he was clingy – he hated that he wouldn't – that he _couldn't _– live without her. But she shook her head, her loose ringlets bouncing up and down against her t-shirt. And then she smiled, if somewhat sadly.

"Maybe we should take it slow. You know, be friends for awhile."

He wanted to tell her no, that he could never be _just _friends with her, that they never were _just _friends. But she looked so hopeful. As though maybe this would solve her problems. So he forced himself to nod.

And so this is where it ended, she thought as she faked a smile. And she forced herself to walk away.

_Everything that I said I'd do  
Like make the world brand new  
And take the time for you  
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn  
And the world spins madly on_

* * *

Peyton kicked her heels against the edge of the wooden bench as she flipped through the pages of Vanity Fair in the hospital waiting room. It was the September issue, and she knew Brooke would appreciate it, but she felt the need to be angry at her best friend right now.

Somehow she wasn't. She didn't blame Brooke for her lack of judgment, because she knew what it feels like to be dazed and confused by Lucas Scott. Except she hadn't felt that way in a long time. It's as if her love for him was platonic. She loved him. Of course she loved him. But was she really _in _love with him?

"Hey." Peyton looked up. Brooke stood a few feet away, nervously twirling her hair around her finger.

"Hey." Peyton could feel herself smile, even though she didn't want to. She didn't want to feel happy for Brooke.

"Listen, Peyton." Brooke takes a seat next to her best friend. "What happened between me and Lucas…"

"It's not a big deal, Brooke."

Brooke turned to Peyton in disbelief. "Yes, it is! You did the exact same thing to me and it took me months to forgive you."

"It's _not _the same thing though. Lucas and I broke up."

"Yeah, about 5 minutes beforehand." Brooke was beating herself up. She wanted Peyton to be angry. It would give her a stronger reason for pushing Lucas away.

Peyton shook her head. "It was always you, Brooke. He always wanted _you._ The heart wants what it wants."

"Peyton, I can't let you absolve me of this. You can't just be okay with it."

"But I am."

"Just so you know, I ended it."

This time it was Peyton who looked shocked. "Why would you do that?"

Brooke shrugged. "I don't know if I can open my heart like that again."

"Brooke, you have to dive. You have to let yourself feel vulnerable again, or else you're going to spend the rest of your life alone, wondering 'what if?'

Brooke smiled slightly. "I think I remember giving advice like that once."

* * *

_I let the day go by  
I always say goodbye  
I watch the stars from my window sill  
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still_

She told him to meet her at his mom's café, and he already had a Mocha Latte waiting for her when she arrived.

"Hey," he said softly as she sat down across from her.

"Hey." She took a sip of her Latte before setting the cup down. "Look, Luke, I called you here today because I thought it was unfair for me to just leave things the way I did."

A smile slowly spread across his face. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing, it's just – " he reached across the table. "You've got some foam on your nose." He brushed the tip lightly with his finger, and then lightly grazed her cheekbone before returning his hand to his mug. She blushed lightly, showing off her dimples. "Sorry," he said with a smile. "Continue."

She looked into her lap. "And I didn't tell you that I only wanted to be friends because I don't care about you, or love you." She looked up, and found him staring straight at her with his piercing blue eyes. She paused. "Okay. I can't go on talking if you keep undressing me with your eyes."

Lucas broke out in a wide smile. He couldn't help it. She wore a white tank-top and an off-the-shoulder knit sweater that showed off an excess of her creamy white skin. And he had to remind himself that, according to her, they were just friends.

"I'm going to NYU," she said rather abruptly, snapping himself out of his daydream.

The smile disappeared from his face. "You're what?"

She sighed. "That's why I called you here. You're going to UNC. I'm going to NYU. We'll be 1,000 miles apart. Don't you think it would be easier…"

"Easier? Yes. Better, no. Brooke, you can't just end this because it's too difficult for you to keep up a long distance relationship!"

"Is that what you think this is?" Brooke raised her voice. "Me taking the _easiest _route? Lucas, you have no _idea _how much this is tearing me up inside. But…" she stared out the window, deep in thought, and Lucas didn't interrupt her this time. "Ever since I was a little girl, I've been waiting for the day when I could just, get away. Reinvent myself. But there was always something holding me back. Did you know I was going to move to Chicago and live with my aunt for a year when I was 10? But I didn't. Because Anna died, and I needed to be there for Peyton. And then when my dad got that job in California. I was so against moving, and at the same time, a part of me wanted to go. But then there was you. I couldn't _imagine _letting go of you." She leaned across the table. "I need some space, Luke. I need some time. I don't know anything about the real world. I only know this world."

He was speechless. She was saying so much, and in a way, it all made sense. Suddenly, there was only one thing to do. He couldn't hold her back.

He had to let her go.

* * *

_Woke up and wished that I was dead  
With an aching in my head  
I lay motionless in bed  
The night is here and the day is gone  
And the world spins madly on_

They didn't even have the summer. She got an internship for July and August. She was slipping away too quickly, and before he could blink, she would be gone.

It was dawn when her cab arrived for the airport. It pulled up in front of Lucas' house, the horn honking and breaking the silence of the pure morning.

He had talked her into staying with him the night before. Just to sleep, he promised. But waking up in his sheets, waking up in his arms, that made it so much harder for her to leave.

And suddenly her bags were in the trunk and the door to the backseat was open. He followed her down the porch steps and she turned to him as they reached the sidewalk.

In the golden light of the early morning his features looked extra sharp. He held her two hands so tightly, she was afraid that she would never be able to pull away.

"Just so you know, this isn't over for good." She planted a soft but lingering kiss on his lips. "I will always love you, Lucas Scott."

She could see that he was fighting the urge to let a tear slip from his eyes, but it did anyway. "You're going to change the world someday. I'll never forget you Brooke Davis."

Now it was her turn to cry, for her eyes to glaze over just lightly. She removed her hands from his and moved to the cab. With one last rearward glance, she whispered back to him.

"People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end."

_I thought of you and where you'd gone  
And the world spins madly on._

* * *

_R+R!!!!_

_Song: World Spins Madly On by the Weepies _


End file.
